September 2007 e-Newz
Free information to inspire hope, improve skills to cope, and induce a chuckle or two.
From Kim Ratz - Speaker, Trainer, Singer-Songwriter, Author & Consultant
I help people create more harmony in their own life, and in their relationships with others. It's about having the courage and discipline to align Attitudes, Aptitudes & Actions. It's about congruent choices - what we do and how we do it - that largely determine if, when we look back on our choices, we feel content, or regrets ...
I like to share ideas and information with people that have helped me or made a positive difference in my life - because the work you do is important, you do make a difference, and we need you to be successful. I think these can help you too. Here's what's in this issue:
- "GIVE YOURSELF PERMISSION" -a new program that's available ...
- Two video samples now available on www.kimratz.com ...
- Quotes for the Days Ahead ...
1. "GIVE YOURSELF PERMISSION" -a new program available to your group ...
After continually noting all the times that people have talked with me about a dream or goal they had set, but abandoned before achieving it - with regrets, I started to ask what was the main thing that held them back? The most consistent version of the reponse: "Myself." Hardly ever was it that someone else prevented them from doing it, and only occasionally did they state some other extenuating factor that kept them from being able to continue to pursuing the goal. This is a common issue for everyone - why do we keep refusing to give ourself permission to go after something, and what can we do to alter this and start giving ourselves permission to take some chances and grow?!
I don't care who you are or what it is. That something that you really want, and you're quite a ways away from having it, you really want it, and you're not moving towards it. Something is holding you back, and it's likely yourself. I want you to "Give yourself permission" to act. And I know how much harder this can be to do than it is to say.
This new program takes a laser (and musical) focus on the tips and techniques that thrivers use when you are pursuing a goal and you encounter difficulties and you don't want to give in or give up - you want to keep giving it your best shot until you succeed, and be happy trying.
Here are three tips to help you do the hard work the next time you hear from someone else - or yourself, "You can't do it!"
1. Recognize this for the trap that it is.
Learn to recognize what kinds of situations trigger that self-talk; practice a discipline of as soon as you hear it, you stop and say: "Who says I can't do it? Prove it!" Choose to confront and challenge this mindset from yourself and others; don't automatically acquiese, give in or give up.
"Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission." - Eleanor Roosevelt
2. Choose to manage your own morale and re-frame the situation.
Now is the hardest part. When you face a complex problem, the answers, solution or "right thing to do" aren't always obvious or easy. I remember my dad used to say that when he was an Engineer in the Army in WWII their motto was: "The difficult we do right away. The impossible takes a little longer." This is one way to frame it. Another cliche dad used was, "The difference between a problem and a dilema is, you can solve a problem. The best you can do with a dilema is 'manage it' - there's rarely closure or complete resolution." When I got laid off by a school district in 1994, I remember how I used the phrase, "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade" to launch my business. All are ways to try to frame an issue so that it is both realistic and identifies hope and the means to achieve it. I've also shared this example in other articles because it is so tried and true as a way to guide your self-talk through an "honest conversation with yourself:"
How is this mindset serving me well?
Where's the new opportunity?
What am I afraid will happen? What's the worst that could happen?
What am I waiting for?
Pay attention to your immediate answers - they are very telling. You'll know the answers to each question.
A Native American grandfather was talking to his grandson about how he felt about this current world tragedy. He said, "I feel as if I have two wolves fighting in my heart. One wolf is the vengeful, angry, violent one. The other wolf is the loving, compassionate one." The grandson asked him, "Which wolf will win the fight in your heart?" The grandfather answered, "The one I feed."
3. ACT on that idea that got you excited - NOW is the time!
You've done the hard work of preventing negative thoughts from others or yourself from deflating your sense of confidence, competence and worth ... You've had an honest conversation with yourself and re-framed the situation so you better see the opportunity in addition to the challenge, and you know WHAT you need to do, WHY you need to do it, and perhaps even HOW you need to do it. This is yet another critical time to be disciplined and ACT on whatever it is you can do. Otherwise, to do the work in #1 & 2 above and then ground yourself when you're ready to give yourself permission to "reach for your stars" is going to hurt even more ... Your return on investment will exactly equal your positive or negative actions on behalf of your own dreams - positively or negatively. Every day.
Whatever it is that you know you need to do (and why and how ...) - what are you waiting for? Don't hold yourself hostage another moment for anyone or anything else. Give yourself permission - To act ... To respond ... To let go ... To hold on ... To forgive ... To laugh ... To cry ... To go with the flow ... To accept ... To keep the faith ... To hope ... To dream ... To reach for your stars ... To love ... To trust ... To try ... To be you ... To Live ...
For of all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these: "It might have been!" - John Greenleaf Whittier
I help people create more harmony and congruence by offering quality keynotes and seminars on the topics of:
Confidence, Competence and Congruence in times of Change, Challenge and Conflict
Communication & Interpersonal Skills
Leadership * Teamwork * Customer Service * Parenting
For more info on these programs, visit: Programs and Descriptions
2. New Demo Video Available on web site - along with re-designed web site
I finally achieved two big break-throughs this month:
- A free demo video is now available on DVD for meeting planners who want to preview speakers before deciding on who to invite. I've wanted to do this for quite some time, and a family project of creating a slideshow on my computer familiarized me with some software and the steps to share a movie; on Sept. 6 I just DID it! You can now receive a free video demo on DVD just by asking, and then share it with your committee when selecting your speakers ...
- Once I had the video clips, it was time to complete another long-standing goal: to add a video demo to my web site. That happened on Sept 17. I added two short video segments so you can get an idea of my substance & style, appearance & delivery.The first clip is a five minute example of my story "Whitewater Snorkeling" and tips to deal with the "rapids of change" in our life. The second clip is a 1:15 minute sample of a customized song I wrote and performed for a group at a luncheon keynote.
There are also three audio samples of songs I've written so you can get more samples of how I use the music to emphasize key points, engage the audience, and energize the message ...
In addition, if you've visited my web site before you'll notice the new design. I've totally updated the site to make it easier to find what you want. I hope this new format works well for you.
If you like to review demo video of speakers before selections, just call or e-mail me to request your free DVD and it will be in the mail to you right away!
Click here to see the demos: Demo Videos & Song
If you like to review demo video of speakers before selections, just call or e-mail me to request your free DVD and it will be in the mail to you right away!
3. Quotes - for the days ahead ...
Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission. - Eleanor Roosevelt
The doors we open and close each day decide the lives we live. - Flora Whittemore
You can't have a better tomorrow if you are thinking about yesterday all the time. - Charles F. Kettering
Without forgiveness life is governed by an endless cycle of resentment and retaliation. - Roberto Assagioli
A Native American grandfather was talking to his grandson about how he felt about this current world tragedy. He said, "I feel as if I have two wolves fighting in my heart. One wolf is the vengeful, angry, violent one. The other wolf is the loving, compassionate one." The grandson asked him, "Which wolf will win the fight in your heart?" The grandfather answered, "The one I feed."
For of all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these: 'It might have been!' - John Greenleaf Whittier
The person who sends out positive thoughts activates the world around him positively and draws back to himself positive results. - Norman Vincent Peale
I am an old man and have known many troubles, but most of them never happened. - Mark Twain
I still miss those I loved who are no longer with me, but I find I am grateful for having loved them. The gratitude has finally conquered the grief. - Rita Mae Brown
Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great ones make you feel that you, too can become great. - Mark Twain
Believing something can be done puts your mind to work for you and helps you find ways to do it. - George Shinn
Our anger and annoyance are more detrimental to us than the things themselves which anger or annoy us. - Marcus Aurelius
No matter where you stand in your business, career or life, when you make the conscious decision to become a person of action, you instantly turn the tide of life in your favor. - Andrew Wood
Fear less, hope more;
Whine less, breathe more;
Talk less, say more;
Hate less, love more;
And all good things are yours. - Swedish Proverb
Leaders are visionaries with a poorly developed sense of fear and no concept of the odds against them. They make the impossible happen. - Dr. Robert Jarvik
The squeaking wheel doesn't always get the grease. Sometimes it gets replaced. - Vic Gold
Some minds seem to create themselves, springing up under every disadvantage and working their solitary but irresistible way through a thousand obstacles. - Washington Irving
You can't build a reputation on what you are going to do. - Henry Ford
Being happy doesn't mean everything's perfect, it just means you've decided to see beyond the imperfections.
I've learned to pick my battles; I ask myself, Will this matter one year from now? How about one month? One week? One day?
If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead?"
Never bear more than one trouble at a time. Some people bear three kinds - all they have had, all they have now, and all they expect to have. - Edward Everett Hale
It will generally be found that people who are constantly lamenting their ill luck are only reaping the consequences of their own neglect, mismanagement, or want of application. - Samuel Smiles
We often look so regretfully upon the closed door that we don't see the one that has opened for us. - Alexander Graham Bell
Life has taught me to forgive much, but to seek forgiveness still more. - Otto von Bismarck
For a good life: Work like a dog. Eat like a horse. Think like a fox. And play like a rabbit. - George Allen
Everyone has a success mechanism and a failure mechanism. The failure mechanism goes off by itself. The success mechanism only goes off with a goal. Every time we write down and talk about a goal we push the button to start the success mechanism. - Charles "Tremendous" Jones
Experience enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again. - Franklin P. Jones
A loving person lives in a loving world. A hostile person lives in hostile world. Everyone you meet is your mirror. - Ken Keyes, Jr.
I cannot give you the formula for success, but I can give you the formula for failure, which is---try to please everybody. - Herbert Swope
Discouragement is a negative emotion with more than one trick up its dark sleeve. It tricks you into mentally or emotionally dwelling in the very place you want to leave. - Guy Finley
The person who sends out positive thoughts activates the world around him positively and draws back to himself positive results. - Norman Vincent Peale
One resolution I have made, and try always to keep is this: "Rise above the little things." - John Burroughs
Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.
Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.
Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.
Don't cry because it's over; smile because it happened.
A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.
Happiness comes through doors you didn't even know you left open.
If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging. - Will Rogers
Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know "why" I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.
One must wait until evening to see how splendid the day has been.
And finally:
If you don't learn to laugh at trouble, you won't have anything to laugh at when you are old.
